


Patchwork Quilt

by rennegades (priest)



Category: Big Bang Theory, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: GFY, Gen, crossover siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-25
Updated: 2012-06-01
Packaged: 2017-11-05 23:46:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/412364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/priest/pseuds/rennegades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She could have told people her brother was a government agent; the non-disclosure agreement she signed years ago never said anything about keeping that part of his life quiet. But Penny Coulson is a little sister, and she's always enjoyed making Phil's life harder than necessary, so she started telling folks that he was a drug dealer.</p><p>Funny how that might have actually worked out for the best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> More than likely this is going to be a series of snippets based around the various relationships Penny and Phil have-- with each other, with their friends, and with each other's friends.

Ducking into Penny's apartment that evening, Leonard rationalizes to himself, was necessary to his own continued survival. With another rendition of the Sheldon Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler Show going on in his living room it was just good sense to be anywhere but there, and Penny's apartment has always been a good escape from his roommate. Well... maybe not always but most times. Sheldon could be pretty tenacious in his wants after all. 

He's not entirely sure what it was that he was expecting when she shouted for him to come in instead of answering the door-- maybe some pretty lingerie just for him?-- but it is certainly not what he got. 

There is a half naked man sitting on her couch with his back to the door.

More importantly to Leonard Penny is sitting directly behind him and doing something to his back. The spark of jealousy that sears through him doesn't fade even when she turns around to wave him in. "Were you planning on standing in the doorway all night? Come _in_ , Leonard!"

The stranger makes an attempt to turn at look at him, but that's about as far as he gets before Penny slaps him upside the head. "Don't move or I'll pull something."

"You should have been a nurse," the stranger grumbles in a pain roughened voice; and now that Leonard has stepped around the couch he can see the reason why. Penny is very carefully cleaning a line of stitches that hold together the rough edges of what appears to be a stab wound that hasn't even begun to heal, and the scientist finally takes in more of the man than just the fact that he's half naked.

He is the very picture of exhaustion. His blood shot eyes are sunken into a sallow face, and a three day beard grows in patches along his chin, though he appears to have at least made the effort to shave his neck if the nicks and cuts along it are anything to go by. His jeans are ratty and a size too large, sliding down his hips even while sitting; he almost looks like he's not used to wearing them. His Captain America boxers peek out over his belt, and Leonard finds that just a dash more creepy than it used to be because _Captain America is real._

Actually, this guy seems to have a real Captain America fetish going on. Leonard is 100% certain that Penny doesn't own the Captain America dufflebag at the end of the couch, or the replica 1940s bomber jacket with "Rogers" on the sleeve. It's at about this point that Leonard realizes that he's been staring for a bit longer than is strictly polite and starts stuttering out a long winded apology.

Penny leans over and smiles as she lays her hand over his mouth. "Relax Leonard. This is my brother Phillip. Phil, this is Leonard."

"Wait, the drug dealer brother?"

Phil looks far more amused by that than a man with a knife wound through his back-- and Holy Batman does it come right out the front? How is this man _alive?!_ \-- has any right to be. "I didn't deal drugs. I made chemical compounds."

"You made crystal meth," Penny rolls her eyes. "Stop trying to make it sound impressive."

(And that was how Leonard Hofstadter met Penny’s older brother Phil Coulson.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't the snippet I had originally intended to post (three days ago), because I looked at the stats on this and started hyperventilating. I don't think I've ever written something so well received in such a short time! So now I'm doing some real timeline tweaking and world building so that things make sense and am therefore holding back on the original "chapter two" so that everything lines up right and jives and gah
> 
> oh good lord I'm getting all excited again. I love you all, and I hope you enjoy part two as much as you enjoyed part one!

This is his "second chance" at life; never mind all the other "second chances" that he's had before. Never mind all the hospital trips and near death experiences and life changing events that had defined the majority of his career with S.H.I.E.L.D. This time it really was a second chance, because this time he really had _died_. His heart had stopped for nearly five minutes while the medical team fought to drag him back, and it had only been luck that he had survived. Luck in where the fatal wound actually struck. He doubted that he would ever know if the blow had been on purpose or if Asgardian physiology was just different enough, but the blade had glanced off of his heart instead of bisecting it. 

Absurdly, he briefly considers calling it a new lease on life, a chance to change things and become a better person, but seeing as he is still an employee of S.H.I.E.L.D. that doesn't quite seem to fit the bill. With all the electronic documents listing him as deceased, it is only on paper that his survival has been recorded and apparently that is the way it is going to be for the foreseeable future. A future that, according to the Director, will be best accomplished in the company of his family. More specifically with the one member that is even remotely prepared to deal with an injured secret agent: his youngest sister.

Phil had expected to find things along the same lines as the last time he had seen Penny, back before Stark and Ironman and superheroes. He was prepared to deal with vapid starlets approaching him for whatever illegal concoction Penny had come up with this time, and for men so stupid that they made farm equipment look like Stark when it came to thinking. He knows that he's been less than charitable in these assumptions, but those were the sort of people that Penny had surrounded herself with since her teenage years and he really hadn't expected any change. 

He certainly hadn't been expecting his sister to be friends with scientists, let alone dating one. He could see her sleeping with one, yes. Especially one that had the sort of charm and charisma that Stark so happily flaunted, but Leonard could barely string two sentences together around him, let alone seduce someone like his sister. It boggled the mind that so much could have changed in the few short years (five is not a few, a traitorous part of his mind whispers to him, but he ignores it with the ease of long practise) but change it apparently had.

He's seen Leonard come and go a handful of times since that first awkward meeting, and it wouldn't have surprised him if Penny had run off with her boyfriend instead of sticking around to help take care of her older brother. He'd been prepared for it, prepared to be left to take care of himself because he still sees the little sister so determined to make something of herself by herself, that when she told Leonard that she didn't want to leave her "recovering addict" of a brother alone for too long it had honestly taken him by surprise. 

Although it was nice to be reminded that at least one of his sisters still cared about the wayward son, it was much nicer when he finally managed to convince her to out on a date. It gives him the necessary time to check in with Fury and settle his nerves in regards to Barton and Romanova's current statuses. He is less impressed with the Director's decision to keep his agents in the dark about his survival, but he has to admit that he isn't anywhere near recovered enough to deal with the sorts of things that come with being the handler to two master assassins. It still rankles, and the thinly veiled argument lasts for almost an hour before Fury finally signs off. Phil grits his teeth against the annoyance and pops a handful of pills with the intention of getting a good sleep.

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK! "Penny."

With a groan that is part exasperation and part pain, Phil twists just enough to be able to stare at the door and attempt to telepathically convey the need to _go away_ at whomever is on the other side. 

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK! "Penny."

It doesn't work. The injured agent grunts as he rolls off of the couch, and manages to very slowly push himself to his feet. A wave of dizziness washes over him and he winds up clutching at the arm of the couch to keep his balance and attempt to keep his lunch down.

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK! "Penny."

It feels like it takes an eternity to cross the few feet between the couch and door, although it's barely enough time for the nap interrupter to finish a sixth round of knocking and calling for his sister. It takes all of Phil's energy to yank the door open and glare out at whomever it is who wants to face the Coulson brand of irritation.

"You aren't Penny."

The petulant confusion in the man's voice is enough to jump start Phil's medication-addled brain, and he finds himself wondering at the odds. Doctor Sheldon Cooper, a man that S.H.I.E.L.D. had briefly considered recruiting before his particular neuroses and less than comforting history with the US Government had held them off, was standing on the other side of the door looking for his sister. 

"Why aren't you Penny? Where is she?"

His tongue felt thick in his mouth, but he managed to form words around it. "Because I was born first. And she's out with... Leonard, I think his name was." 

"Leonard? But-- but she's supposed to be here so she can take me to the comic book store because he's working!"

(And that was how Phil Coulson met Penny's craziest neighbour Sheldon Cooper)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firing this off before I disappear into the wilderness for the weekend. Well. If the Banff Hotsprings actually count as wilderness... yet another snippet that isn't the one I was originally going to post, but hey. Things happen!

With Howard having gone off into space, and Bernadette working longer hours so as not to think about her missing husband, Raj finds himself at increasingly loose ends. He is also finding himself increasingly at Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. So when Raj comes looking for someone to watch Star Wars with, and finds an older man pulling mail out of Penny's mail slot, he takes several steps fowards to stop the thief before he puts two and two together and comes up with Phillip Coulson. What really nails his identity, though, is his appearance; the man is as white as a ghost with sweat beading his brow. It doesn't help that he looks like he's about ready to throw up from whatever exertions he's just put himself through. 

"Dude, you do not look so good," he looks like he should be in a hospital bed somewhere, Raj has the tact not to say. It doesn't stop him from thinking it.

"So I've been told."

Raj fumbles for something else to say for an awkward moment, not having expected that response. All that comes out, however, is a stilted: "You're Penny's brother, right?"

The man nods once, slowly, as though it is taking all of his will power just to manage that single movement. "I am."

The astrophysicist frowns. "If you're having trouble _now_ , how did you get here in the first place?"

There is a strange quirk to the corners of Phil's lips, like he's trying not to laugh and grimace at the same time. "My parole officer is very thorough."

Oh right, Raj thinks, Penny's brother is a drug dealer. That's not really something he has a whole lot of experience with and the moment turns awkward. He takes a step towards the stairs, and Phil is only a beat behind him. Despite the awkwardness, Raj can't quite find it in him to out pace Penny's brother, especially with the guy looking like he'll keel over at any moment. 

And yet... he somehow manages to get all the way back up to Penny's floor without so much as a waver in his step. He didn't stop or lean against the railing, he just powered his way on up. It's pretty impressive, actually, and maybe that's why Raj holds up the bag filled with dvds and asks if Phil wants to watch them with him. The older man looks about ready to collapse onto a couch and sleep for a hundred years, but he still finds the energy to grin. "I haven't watched Star Wars in years. What version?"

"Original theatrical release, no enhancements or remastering," Raj doesn't mind the remastered versions, but being a friend of Sheldon's means that you learn to specify just about everything so as to avoid hissyfits and complaining. Not that Sheldon would ever admit to doing such things.

Phil laughs again, a soft faintly amused laugh, and claps Raj on the shoulder. "Come on in, then."

(And that was how Rajesh Koothrappali met Penny's fanboy older brother Phil Coulson.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [pennycoulson.tumblr.com](http://pennycoulson.tumblr.com/)
> 
>   
> 
> 
> the official series blog for questions and RP. Because I'm having some difficulty working through the next chapter, and don't want to leave ya'll hanging.


End file.
